Hidden Markov Model

Learn about X by observing Y

What I say to you is expressed through my eyes

My aim is true and my mission is clear 

However the catalyst is you, my dear

I go back and forth, in my power and out

I can do this myself, I can bring it about

But then I think no, I need him to create 

I sit in my garden and I contemplate 

If I am the soil and you are the sun

Then we need each other to get anything done

How else grow a flower? How else open up?

Why does there in tarot exist 2 of Cups?

Again, I don't know and ask angels to see

And if it's required, that they bring you to me

Her Majesty's Ship

Her Majesty's Ship

I was born on it

It is my birthright 

To this I hold tight

Of the British Isles 

Castle of Carlisle 

I sailed high seas

Absolute bearing

Somehow wound up docked

My anchor was dropped

I have to set sail

I must now prevail 

From druids I hale

In light I regale

Epona, begin

I triumph, I win

Earthbound

Where's my Chinese luck dragon?

Appearing in the Swamps of Sadness 

Atreyu gives up, he falls down

He can't do it on his own

I can't fix my stupid furnace

Why is God making me do this?

Sometimes I don't want to eat

I'm too tired to even sleep

I hate my job so bad

I'm so sick of being sad

Sloan says it's a spiritual war

We've had many lives before

Fighting evil for so long

It's so hard to soldier on

My head hurts, my heart too

I wish that I knew what to do

All I know is how to feel

It's all I've ever done to deal

I once played a video game

The answer in the end was pray

It was Earthbound, it was great

I truly hope that that's the case

Moon Signs

Incredible, the things I find

Learned we look like our moon signs

Me, I am a pincher bug

I mustn't sting the ones I love

You look like a Pisces fish

In the Koi pond where I wish

Almond eyes and pretty mouth

From the north but in the south

You lead fishies in a school

All of them think you're so cool

Fascinating dynamic

What all you could do with it

You could swim to darker waters

Pass down wounding from our fathers

Or you could swim into the light

Move our fears out of the night

By no means is this easy

I'm here with you in-between

We just take it day by day

Until our moon signs show the way

Small World

Remember Hurricane #1?

Long have I adored that song

Ad for new Volkswagen Bug

Back in what, 2001?

Google says was '98

No matter, I feel the same

He said step into his world

He said she could be his girl

It did resonate with me

Always thought it so lovely

Maybe it will come to be

Spirit Song

If I keep listening to this song

I can figure out what's wrong

I can lose myself in dance

Put myself into a trance

Speaks what spirit tells her, yes?

She makes sense of all this mess

She hears truth and makes it art

She does not betray her heart

She's creating utter bliss

I envy and admire this

It's all I ever wished to do

To thine own self, be true

This Dichotomy

Who did what to me?

Created this dichotomy 

What is up whose sleeve?

Goddamn it, I can't see

Neverending misery 

Unending anxiety

Where is my relief?

Help me Mother Mary, please

What was this abuse?

By who?

Achtung Baby

Achtung baby, I learned this 

Your opinion means jack shit

I don't want the life you live

And I reject advice you give

Nor did I solicit it

You're not in my skin, this soul

Clearly we have different goals

You're just some complete asshole

And you, you're not a magic witch

Truly you're a stupid bitch

Can't undo the fact that I

Sabotaged one half my life

But I can now make moves to change

From the curb to the fast lane

Speeding like that girl Lights sang

I think she's Canadian

At any rate, I'm leaving, bye

To my purpose, Semper Fi

Majestic Chick

I am one majestic chick

Virgo Scorpio Sag witch

Although of course fun to play with

I do not require dick

I see now it's only fair

That I should rise to meet him there

I bought an Earth Magic book

On page one and I am shook

With my rhymes, I'll combine flowers

Of course these things have super powers!

With love from God and intuition 

I'll bring my dreams into fruition

Like Claire is Miss Anthropocene

I shall be Princess Colleen

My Psychology

Psychics and astrology

These are my psychology 

I use them as therapy

Sometimes listen as I sleep

It's how I learned all I know

It is how I shift and grow 

Now I see he left me there

Gazing with my heartsick stare

I used all my energy

Sitting, waiting, and wishing

He didn't come back, you see

He did not return for me

I died there in that field

Old and gray and unfulfilled 

Brought him back here with Colleen

In my 12th house of unseen

He is but a lesson plan

I cannot control a man

I'm to make it on my own

I'm to be my only home

I'm complete all by myself

I create my life and wealth

Painful yes, okay, oh well

It's how I ascend from Hell

Please

Can you come here and rescue me?

Or we can meet halfway with ease

It is obscene what I'm doing

My work's enforcing a vaccine 

Let us fly to Waikiki

Saint Lucia, Tahiti

Catio for Yo and Squeaks

I went and I got my I.D.!

We can go by land or sea

I know that you see what can be

I just need you to speak to me

I'm running out of time, I think

It's coming down to swim or sink

I'm Navi, you're my missing link

Cinderella, Prince Charming

Maid Marian and Prince of Thieves 

Miss Beyonce and Jay-Z

Loner Dottie and Pee-wee

Mario and Princess Peach

Cleopatra, Antony 

Blue Tara and green Gumby

Shel Silverstein's The Missing Piece

John and Yoko, world peace

Fuckin Adam! Freaking Eve

Please

Natal Chart

I wish I had your natal chart

Confirm what I feel in my heart

I wonder your ascending sign

And if it's complimenting mine

Which sign is your Venus in?

Do you have yods that are destined?

What planets in your 7th house?

Of business partnerships and spouse

Mine is just in Gemini

Perhaps it's me, myself, and I

But then I am Venusian 

With all that Libra stellium

And what is in your 8th house next?

Of hidden things and death and sex

Left sensing with my Scorpio

Pisces drowning what is so

Music Box

Life is but a music box

What is it that will unlock?

Keep on looking for the key

It's so dark I cannot see

Searching for the light and air

Certainly don't have it there 

Bloom where you are planted, sure

What of soil that can't nurture?

They blocked rays with parasols

No not me, I want it all

El condor pasa, wave to it

To the sky these eyes do lift

Fledgling flying toward the sun

Baby I was Born to Run

Last Life Here

I am so concerned 'cause I

Will not redo junior high

Can't convey how bad it sucked

There's no way in fucking fuck

I will not be squashed again

Spend a life away hidden

Sun square my ascendant, eh?

Still recovering to this day

Praying that it turns around

Trying to reach higher ground

Dancing in my living room 

To empowering Zeppelin tunes

Should I seek community?

I am a loner, Dottie

I have got to do what's right

Wake each day and fight the fight

Uncover and confront each fear

'Cause this is def my last life here

Two of Hearts

Disney princess energy

Music dancer synergy 

Some enchanted fairytale 

Maui with Moana sails

They cut off Rapunzel's hair

Still it didn't keep her there

Eventually Aurora woke 

To her prince Ariel spoke 

Poison didn't stop Snow White

Her partner came and made it right

Spinning arrow led to John

Pocahontas can't go wrong

Nino followed Amelie 

Ohana it means family 

These girls have power within

But there's a yang to every yin

Midheaven

Angels and obsidian 

Divinity and protection 

Life path four with your seven

Virgo on my midheaven

Can I offer you a deal?

This is something that will heal

I can play the roll of doll

Mannequin alive in mall

Muse to your Pygmalion

Camouflaged chameleon 

Beautiful but wielding power

Sugar can be sweet or sour

Both stoic and temperamental 

Symbiotic, beneficial 

Fire Butterfly

Butterfly with fire wings

Warrior that's nurturing 

Gentle like a woodland deer

Venus is exalted here

Lovely like a painted fern

Lucky but it's all been earned

Plucking beauty from the clouds

Sharing with adoring crowds

Offering Earth medicine

But with heart is reticent 

Material concerns are real

They will follow what we feel

Fire Water Burn

The Moon and Planet Venus

These asteroids between us

The Sun and Planet Mars

The changing of the guards 

If Jupiter expands

And Gods of War demand

I call on Mercury

Where we can both receive 

Communicate with words

Through poems, and songs, and birds

Blown closer by monsoon

Swim towards you on Neptune 

Accept a ride from Saturn

And kiss goodbye old patterns 

Let Pluto reinvent us

And meet up on Uranus

With You

Water moves rock slowly

Needn't always break it boldly 

Kali works in deconstruction 

Volcanoes speak through their eruptions

Ocean tides move by our moon

End the end, Sam is with Joon

Te of Piglet, Tao of Pooh

I know I will be with you

(Because we have things to do)

Parts of a Whole

Sky full of birds

Millions of words

Infinite methods with which to be heard

Pen to a paper

Water to vapor

Creative Director of Sterling Don Draper

Leis made of flowers

Minutes in hours

Major League Baseball and Kenny Powers

Ballet and tulle

Rockets and fuel

Snoopy's the Masked Marvel and he's Joe Cool

Bridges with tolls

Rhythms that lull

These are the parts of the things that are whole

Acoustic and Electrical

Acoustic and electrical 

Romantic and sexual

Spelunker and skydiver

Kylo Ren and Skywalker

If we combine all shades of light

A rainbow is created, right?

Nothing here to dodge or fear

Just a seeker and his seer

Six of Cups

My Six of Cups

I miss you much

My childhood friend

My past life twin

My fellow crystal alien

Our treehouse dreams

On playground swings

And dangling from the monkey rings

The ferris wheel

I'll meet you there

I'll find you always anywhere

Amusement park

Kiss in the dark

Inspired to

Required to do

Whatever that will lead to you

A Thousand Leaves

They only took from me

I never did receive 

All I have done is grieve 

And now I overreach 

For wanting to believe 

That they'll see what I see

I watch a thousand leaves

Detach and drift from trees

If they can turn and fall

Then grow back after all

I'll too change and stand tall

Navigate the Stars

A difficult relationship 

A brutal planetary transit

Pluto conjunt Capricorn

To strip us down unto the bone

There is just no going back

I will not rescind things said

If I am mutable and you are fixed

I will not continue this

I am flexible and choose to grow

You are concerned only with old

You will navigate the stars with me

Or from my chart you are released 

Princess of Swords

Princess of Swords

Of this you are warned

I came to discern 

To apply what I've learned

What no longer serves

What is not deserved

Doubt me, I wouldn't 

Don't do it, you shouldn't 

You match me or go

You impede or you grow

It is or it isn't 

Try me, good riddance

So Uranian

Warning warning, don't unlock

Danger of electric shock

Woops there go the lights again

We are so Uranian

Rearranging energy

Getting freaky in 5D 

Harness electricity 

Channeled in a dance with me

So high voltage, I don't care

Our hair standing up in air

My jellyfish, electric eel

This is how it's supposed to feel

I Have

I have Earth and animals

They are here and tangible 

Although human beings are liars 

I have wind and I have fire

I have water, I have ocean

I am fluid in emotion

I have trees against my back

I have stars in my knapsack 

I have angels on my side

I have ancestors as guides

I must not forget this feeling

I have value, I have meaning 

Codependent Alien

Codependent alien

Here I am on Earth again
Crying on linoleum
What am I to do with him?

I do not have any friends
Disconnected from my kin
Living in oblivion
Writing words and clicking send
What must I learn to transcend?
On what does happiness depend?
I just want this pain to end

Honey Dune

Honey bee

Honey dew

Honey moon 

Honey you

Set me free

Let me be

Who I am

Where I stand

Don't feel down

Wear your crown

See you soon

Like in Dune

Anxious v. Avoidant

I am anxious, you're avoidant 

Neither of us want controlling 

But you cannot block emotion 

No it's not my magic potion

Was it you that cut my head off?

That does indicate a jerk off

I'm sure I was a bitch also

So now back and forth we waffle

Pushing, pulling, touching wounds

Cycling phases with the moon

Readjusting my tiara

We will try again tomorrow 

Divine Sign

Childlike Empress

Mario's Princess

Isis goddess

Feather headdress 

Celtic druid

Ancient ruin

Welsh enchantress 

Praying mantis

Reinvention

Soul ascension 

Pluto, power

Fool from Tower

Lunar lover

Run for cover

Soldier, warrior

Dark destroyer

Climbing, reaching

Learning, teaching

Dear God

Please allow me to connect 

From the darkness do protect

I will promise to accept

Repay and balance karmic debt

With what you've given me to deal

I am trying so hard to heal

But can you answer me this night...

Is it real or am I high?

Am I a deludinoid?

Looking out into the void

Is there an M. Night Shyamalan twist?

Or does this thing just not exist?

Help me, show me, open my eyes

To see if this is love or lies

Mom Trauma

Your Queen of Wands is upside down

Cloaking, hiding, fooling round

I surrender, I retire

You're not bringing what's required 

Feeling so 'Bitch, I'm Madonna'

Deal with all your damn mom trauma 

Giving it to our creator

Back to Earth on escalator

Cannot focus on what isn't 

Must be grateful and be present 

Like He-Man said, 'I have the power'

Besides, you won't escape The Tower

Only in Ethereal

Only in ethereal
Never the mundane
Not in the material
On another plane
Fairy door to crystal cave

Time turns in reverse
I receive the love I gave
Coda to this curse

Free

In that moment
The wind was a friend
It said start again
And to take action
A place to begin
Went to DMV
For flying I.D.
It won't come to me
I must do and be
Unchained melody
Free, free, free

My Pleiadian

At night I swim to lure you in
Calling to my Pleiadian
My earthbound ocean alien
Cancer, Pisces, Scorpion
You leave your bed at 2:00 AM
'Cause you dreamt of my mermaid fin
I sent for you, I'm a siren
I wait for you beneath the depths
And come ashore to catch my breath
I watch you stand there in the tides
So haunted, spellbound, mesmerized 
The key is just to come to me
And consummate our love at sea

Let's

I think you're so cute
Insufferably mute
You look good with kids

And probably in knits
I love your long hair
And pieces of flair
I don't like shoes either

Not sandals, nor sneakers
Take these clothes off too
Let's us rendezvous
Your hands on my hips
Come on let's do this
Make out by your car
Bang under the stars

Thuban

When you look at me
What does your soul see?
What does your mind think?
And do you then drink?
You'd teach me to build
And I, you to heal
Show me all your ways
I promise I'll stay
I'll harness my force
You'll honor your source
I'll help you write lyrics
You'll take me to Egypt
We'll sprawl in the sands
And join our hands
Our bodies, our work
We transcend this curse
Collab and combine
Enmeshed and entwined
To give, to receive
To empower, achieve
A new legacy
Just have faith, believe

Neptunian

I cannot see

What's wrong with me

Have Neptune in my First

I feel through you

And what you do

My sense of self's reversed

I open crown 

And write it down

But don't know where it's from

I cannot ground

Spin round and round

And struggle with my Sun

Mars in my 8th

This hidden pain 

Colors my every move

I try to change

To rearrange 

To transform and transmute

Look up and see

What I could be

But it's out of my reach

I want it bad

This life I have

Is not enough for me

Cosmic College

Creating from heartspace
Move at divine pace
Acting in God's grace
Repping human race
Unique as I can be
You've never seen me
In 2020
Channeling knowledge
From cosmic college
Relaying it to you
In some way brand new
Learning from you too
It's just how we do

Star-Crossed but Land-Locked

Star-crossed but land-locked
In love but cock-blocked
Grounded but out there
Business with blue hair
Conflict and chaos
Blindfolded, so lost
Trust falls from spaceships
Unite us like magnets
Strength with compassion
Reflection, reaction
Our eyes are mirroring
Ascension and healing
Hephaestus from embers
Silvanus from timber
Persistence and patience
Build strength and foundation
Construction and detours
When I'm done, I'll be yours

Go Fish

I want what's right for you

For girl and baby too

As long as you don't drink

So not to feel and think

We're here to feed our souls

To learn and change and grow

Fulfill our highest good

For God and peoplehood 

To share our given gifts

Stop wishing and go fish

Express our divine truths

From crown down through our roots

I'll always have your back

Rise up and walk your path

Despite

Hear but don't see
Look but don't lead
Feel but deny
Know but still lie
Solar says this
Heart confirms it
Throat does not say
What won't go away
Imagining things
That are real in dreams
Not here in 3D
But limitless, free
Love uncontained
No illusory pain
Connected, unsevered
Despite our best efforts

Things with Wings

Butterflies and nightingales
Dragonflies and archangels
Kookaburras, mockingbirds
Messengers of all God's words
The Crow, The Phoenix, Pegasus
What wisdom they impart to us
Snowy owls and mourning doves
Bumblebees and lightning bugs
Of the heavens, in the skies
Descending down to you and I
Fae and pixies, sylphs of air
Give us wonder, have us dare
Things with wings that rise above
Teach us freedom, courage, love

Teacher and a Student Of

Grandma is a butterfly
Counterpart a dragonfly
Cats, angels, and aliens
Birds are my departed friends
Signs and symbols do I see
Down here in 'reality'
How do I turn dreams to things?
10th House Saturnistic rings
Translate them on planet Earth
To Capricornic themes of worth
Will God grant me the patience...
To build up wealth and affluence?
I see it in my natal chart
Feel it in my heart of hearts
Watch a ballerina dance
Then know through claircognizance
I'm to heal with palm chakras
Both teacher and a student of
The ground, the stars, the air, the sea
Of you, of us, of them, of we

Space Royalty

I don't date

Can't understand 

Why do that with

Some random man?

If you can't tell

We're meant to be

Thank you, next

Get away from me 

I know you well

From other lives

From ancient times 

And other sides

Different planets

Galaxies

We're aliens

And starseeds

Heal the world

A better place

Like Bono and 

Like whatshisface

No new karma

No way, no thanks 

Connecting dots

In outer space

This princess seeks

Her royalty 

Come reunite

And rule with me

Suicidal Bath Water

Kitty cat

Don't play in that

It's suicidal bath water 

If only it

Absorbed this shit

I would have come out cleaner 

Forgive me I

Can't see the sky

If God is sending something 

I cannot hear 

Nor think too clear

It's just what's perfunctory 

Move mouth to eat

To swallow drink

Use legs to walk to bed with

Lay down and I

Hope that I'll die

Then this won't all start over

I'm Sorry

I woke wanting to say to you
Thank you for what we journeyed through
Release you energetically
From heart by pen, poetically 
I know I warned you way back when
As I'm required with each of them
That I would write about you to the world
It's just how I communicate
For lack of something intimate
Was cross-watching Aquarius
She said that I'm the piece of shit

That's not how I intended it

I have a Libra stellium

Translates to bipolar problem
Often think myself a victim
I wish for happiness for you

For peace and serenity too

You'll share that laugh and smile with one
Who's kind to you and to your son
I'll cut this cord and set you free
For we could just not make us be
But please, look at our time fondly

I will too

Ash Dance

I walk up to the corner market
Because I won't wear masks in Target
This white ash drifting all around
Is somewhat Edward Scissorhands
If Danny Elfman scored for me
How beautiful my life would be
I put my arms up like Ms. Ryder
Before I go and buy a lighter
Imagine this was Burton's world
If only I was Johnny's girl
But then again he couldn't hold her
Saddest end to movie ever

Synastry or Not

Push reset, recalibrate
Create from different colored space
See from separate point of view
Embark on journey without you
I simply do not have the time
To wait for masculine divine
Could get hit by a bus and die
Before he decides to come by
Fool card says take leap of faith
Does not say stay and stagnate
Fuck these 10 swords in my back
My rep as a huge sadsack
Manic depression, up and down
Back and forth and round and round
Motivated, fueled, inspired
Just as quickly hopeless, tired
I'll take my 2 cats to the ocean
Put these blueprints into motion
Leave behind me civil service
I have no choice now but to do this
Outside influence made me sick
Like learning my relationships
Were methods of control and punishment
Do not give me your opinions
Satan's serpents, helpers, minions
Turned your back on our synastry
None the less, I write my history

Leo Season

Today feels Armageddon-like
Ashes coat my car and bike
Smoke smell settles in my hair
Hazy orange colors the air
Flames jumping the freeways fast
Dead discolored yellow grass
Who set fire to planet Earth?
I thought I would get there first

Meh

I don't care who thinks I'm pretty

Smart, creative, funny, witty

Every night I fall asleep

Asking God to come get me

Look out my window wondering

Where I'm from, why did I leave

A host here for parasites 

Steal my essence, drain my life

Broken incandescent light

Doing just what others like

Sitting down and signing in

Report for duty, "no symptoms"

First half of Wizard of Oz

Missing meaning, purposes, cause

No insulation, exposed wiring

Forever pissed off, sad and crying 

Born this way and tired of trying 

Mostly Dead Musicians

Trent Reznor's head is like a hole
Layne Staley was down in one
Her name tattoos Jon Crosby's soul
Instant karma got John Lennon
Did Elliott really stab himself?
Did Kurt put that gun in his mouth?
I digress, this is not where I was going
I wonder, do you speculate
Compose, arrange, and dedicate
Lyrics and music to our memory
Is it true you never did love me?
This was all malefic shittery
You approached me just to put me in my place
Pay me back for previous wrongs
Lure me in with pretty songs
Place me in a box and throw away the key
How incredibly depressing
To think it was karmic lessons
Remember when you played All I Want?
I wanted that for us too
Was I mistaken thinking you
Were pure of heart, of mind, of soul
That we'd help each other grow
I guess so
Because now I walk the line alone

4th House Pisces

Why the hell did I eat that? 
It's just going to make me fat
Solar, sacral, or root trauma?
4th house Pisces substance drama?
I kicked my vodka addictions
Dabbled in the 12 traditions
Step aerobics every morning
Meditation shortly following
Set intentions at moon circles
Swear I'll conquer all these hurdles
Eschewed toxicity in men
Curbed compulsive spending, then
Replaced orange Fanta with water
Still with cheese and bread I falter
Pin bikinis in Ibiza
Yet next day I order pizza
I don't like this constant battle
Of with which I have been saddled
Asking who in Heaven listens 
Please assist with this affliction

Yo & Squeakers

I love you, Yo and Squeakers
You're my valentines with fuzz
You're the Junos to my Bleeker
Sherrif Woodys to my Buzz
Eat a metric ton of Meow Mix
Linger in the pan too much
And a little masochistic
When you're playing, but best buds
So absorbent when I'm crying
Always listen as I bitch
Aid with tarot cards and scrying
The familiars to my witch
We go back to ancient Egypt 
Keepers of the underworld
Mummies now in pharaoh's crypt
Today just pets and girl
You both protect me spiritually
Like a gargoyle on each side
Many thank yous for accompanying me
In every earthly life

Otherwordly Hello

Psychic dispatch operatress
Astral plane tiki bar waitress
Like Jupiter sent lightning down
Echo distracted Zeus with sound
An esoteric carrier pigeon
Supernatural slide in DM
Pegasus Pony Express
Loch Ness Monster UPS
Heart Shaped Box to radio
It's all I can do, Candy-o

Luciferian Summer

"That's cute that you're contributing,"
My neighbor to her boyfriend screams
The clink of an engagement ring hits porch
We're all on edge, it's so damn hot
One hundred plus all month of Aug
Our sun feels like an enemy sometimes
I stop the watering of lawn
It doesn't care, it's too far gone
Some days I don't think that I'm long behind
I go back in and take caffeine
So fucking sick of quarantine
A misnomer on purpose, we're not sick
These masks are Luciferian
The gov, Authoritarian
I just want in a grocery store for fruit
6 feet saps our humanity
Blocks energy and sanity
Come on, they banned singing in a church
They can't stop us from worshipping
From creating and flourishing
Nor can they remove love from our vocab
We're human beings
Soft squishy things
We're guided by the Godhead up above
So take our festivals and shows
Take restaurants and shops for clothes
Take our bodies, but you cannot have our souls

Heavily Edited

Heavily edited
Withdraw, retract, reverse
Infinitely debited
Conceal, redact, submerge
I chose to shut my chakras down
When the world went on offense
My smile became a perma-frown
In efforts at defense
I'm trying to let the light in now
I've been down so Goddamn long
I wish for you to show me how
I want to sing my song
I'm filling up a holey bucket
I'm tanning in the dark
I'm sleeping 'neath a wet blanket
I'm gunning it in park
I only speak now psychically
We conversate in dreams
Connecting telepathically
If our guides do deem
A muted Sagittarius
attempting to make fire
A bound and caged Aquarius
A Scorpio in mire
Please help me untie these knots
Remove these swords from me
Convert from bad to good these thoughts
Happy ever afterly

Remedial at Vegetables

Remedial at vegetables
Unfit to clean a house
Completely undomestical
I just don't know what to do with myself
There's only brush across the street
The occasional freight train
No one sees me dancing gothically
Through my dirty window pane
Trevor Something, something
He's my digital husband
We make vaporwave in his basement
Or so that's what I pretend
Doordashing Wienerschnitzel
The driver refers to me as dude
I wish I hadn't tipped his ass
That's hella fucking rude
This poem is not too thematic
I guess I apologize
Just feeling somewhat chromatic
Merely a day in the life
Now the sun descends again
What have I done this day?
Play make-believe and dwell within
My world's in retrograde

Cognitive Astrology

Sedated cow or psychosis
Insomnia v. hypnosis
Weep at work or sleep by 8:00
Medicate or stay awake
Who told me I shouldn't feel?
At what point did I cease to deal?
So some boyfriend went away
No one said that he would stay
Okay so I am OCD
Obsess, compulse, redo, repeat
The answer's not in Lexapro
Or so the last decade has shown
Perhaps I'm just from Mercury
This is all astrology
Stars and spirituality
Neptune skews reality
A misaligned chakra or 7
A torn aura open to Heaven
I'll patch it up with prayer and seeking
Searching, learning, hoping, dreaming
Paint new skies upon my ceiling
Write down words which lead to healing
Wake each morn and face the music
I have faith that I won't lose it

P & C

Patrick is Piscerian
C is a Cancer
Seaside sibling water signs
Generation Z undines
Electric fish illuminates
With lightning he communicates
Snow crab safe on nearby shores
Pinching, snapping, evermore
Neptune's trident stirring storms
Arrive at beach in Luna's arms
Waves dissolving in the sand
Sea creatures wash up on land
Though they've shed their scales and claws
The life aquatic sometimes calls
Walking Earth with briny powers
Taking 90 minute showers
Dreamy, tidal, sentimental
Atlanteans turned occidental
Ocean sprites now elementals
Terrestrials: please do be gentle

Uranus Trine Mars

A magician, a technician
'cause Uranus trines my Mars
A musician, a physician
of keyboards and of guitars
Wielding power, taking action
Manifesting from the stars
Wire, cable, periodic table
Plutonium, electric cars
Sparking, shocking, I'm unlocking
Who you are and what you do
I don't practice Santeria
Not to worry, no voodoo
Moving, touring, you're exploring
Corners of this universe
Mixing metals, pressing pedals
Creating rhythm, writing verse
I'm not patient, but persistent
Plugging in and turning on
Flipping switches, changing fuses
Casting light on what went wrong

Satan and Bad Aliens

Satan and bad aliens

Ruling Earth with iron fists

So annoying, life destroying

Why did I sign up for this?

Spiritual warfare, maybe

How it makes me miss the 80's 

What I wouldn't give

to be 0 through 9 again

Cabbage Patch Kids, Teddy Ruxpins

Popples, GloWorms and Van Halen

Mr. Rogers, Cyndi Lauper

This is Thriller, Get to the choppa!

Suppose evil was there too

in George Bush Sr. and crew

We live in a world we did not make

Nothing new under the sun

Until they take away our guns

Sew our mouths shut, Handmaid's Tale

Six feet under, see through the veil?

It's thinning out, you only have to look

Raise up your head, open your eyes

Tune your antennae to the skies

Ask for courage, ask for strength

Pray for knowledge, then give thanks

Take off your pants and jacket

Take your protein pills and helmet

Get up, stand up, for your rights

We can do this, we can take 'em

We're God's children, not forsaken

Grand Trine

Gorgeous soul in your expression

From inception through the womb 

Always honoring your fire sun 

Swimming with your water moon

What you speak is what you're thinking

What you do is what you want 

No perversion, no diversion 

Nothing underneath to haunt

Conceive and then construct things

Erect each vision one by one 

Music, lovers, Saturn's rings

Your work here is never done 

Ascend and heal and radiate 

From a spark, a thousand songs 

Smile and shift and cocreate 

You will right a million wrongs 

Your lasso circles all around 

It has caught me in your spell 

I know I'm not the only one 

And so it's just as well 

I watch you from the sidelines

In the thicket and the thorns

As you effortlessly easily 

Take this life by storm 

It's okay, I'm catching up 

I have a lot to learn

but I've left a light on for us 

Here within my heart, it burns

My Life

Toyota Camrys 

Full of families 

Driving down my street

Dads and toddlers

Moms and daughters

Walking by each eve

Pregnant ladies

Dogs and babies

Tricycles, grade school

Babysitting, blanket-knitting

Birthday parties by the pool

Me, I'm single

Eating Pringles

Watering my lawn

Nodding, smiling

All the while I

Wish I could play along

I should not covet

My life, I love it

Right? I ask myself

2 kitties, candles

Sundresses, sandals 

And yes, I have my health

Scorpion

You nasty fucking scorpion

You wicked fucking witch

Why the hell did you get married?

Why the fuck did you have kids?

You're mean, you sting, you've hidden things

You chose not to protect

To this day, you deny everything

to every single life you've wrecked

I wake up nights and hate you

because I cannot take control

You have burrowed in my psyche

You have warped my fucking soul

No prayer, nor pill, nor therapy

has done me any good 

I've accepted responsibility 

as best I fucking could

And yet here I am at 38 

awake at 2:00 AM

by a nightmare situation

playing out without an end

Fuck you and your abandonment 

Fuck you and your judgement

Fuck me and my decision

to perpetuate this long descent 

Worthless, wasted, languishing 

On autopilot at this point

Only counting down the hours

til I get to blow this joint

By this joint, I mean this planet 

on which I've failed to ascend

I never want to come back down here

Least of all with you again

Blue Jay

Blue Jay in the sky, on a wire, standing by

Were you sent here by a guy - 

remotely viewing through your eyes?

What is it that he has to say?

What is this missive you convey?

Were you sent from outer space?

Represent a martian race?

From the shores of Waikiki?

Do you have a lei for me?

Paris, France, bonjour, oui oui

Kawaii, Japan, Hello Kitty

Now we meet in this backyard

Virgos sent here from the stars

Gazing up and looking down

Message greeted with a frown

Understand you, I do not

Now it's hot and I'm distraught

Close my journal, pack it up

Back to day job, back to rut

Drop a feather as you go

I put it to my lips and blow

Close my eyes and make a wish

When you return, you take me with

Jupiter

I was meant to have a daughter

She would be called Jupiter

But the sun's rescinding farther

And as it goes, its taking her

I still see her in the ether

And I hear her in the breeze

I can feel her in my heartspace

But in this life, I'm on my knees

I cry out to her, "I'm sorry,"

Apologize a thousand times

I am catatonic, paralyzed

Bereft of all but rhymes

I cannot move to make her

Cannot bring her to this sphere

Cannot rise to meet her father

Cannot seem to make him hear 

I pray to God each evening

From the shower, then my bed

Please release me from this movie

Looping always in my head

A Disney princess ending

Do I see inside my dreams

Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella

Amy Adams with Dempsey

Spanish Castle Magic

We dwell high up in the sky

We come down to visit mortals

Jupiter, and you, and I

I know that I agreed to this

I just need strength to see

All I drew up in the heavens...

Can you help me make it be?

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday, alchemist

Electric body lyricist 

Leo sun with Pisces moon

Fire starter, lover's swoon

Majestic mane and lion's roar

Storyteller, ancient lore

Healer of the earth and soil

Tied to you by mortal coil

From the stars and winding down

Promise that I'm coming round

Spirit speaking through a smile

Remember though it's been a while

Tones of home and love with child

Imagination running wild

Making music, writing song 

Singing, strumming, hum along

Through grace of God, by walk of life

Courting, wedding, husband/wife

Electronic Waste

Ashamed in advance 
For what I might do
To gain your affection
For you to approve
You're chatting with me
And I'm falling in love
I feel a connection
You're sent from above
But that's not the case
It isn't the truth
You're here to exploit me
I'm here to be used
I see the blue ring
Of my webcam light up
I tell you hello
But you say hurry up
Say that you love me
Say that we'll meet
Say that you'll drive here
Or buy a plane seat 
Your wife's in the next room
Your kids are asleep
I feel like a whore
And you're just a creep
I'm electronic waste
Hard drive can't be found
Press escape to restart
But I just spin around
I'm only an android
About to expire
Like tears in the rain
Like flames in a fire
A 404 error
I'm seized by the Feds
I'm discolored and rusted
And laced with cobwebs
But one day you find me
And you dust me off
And you go to kiss me
And feel such a shock
Because I have a heartbeat
And I am not dead
A current runs through me
Despite what I said
Because I am a human
A real live girl
And since you can't see this
You must leave my world

North Node

Multifacet, glittering

Lacerations and lightning

Muddy water, lotus flower

Muted, waning, rebirth, power

North Node Cancer, turning point

Fire sign rising, crown, anoint

Sun, High Priestess, Empress card

Lioness and lionheart

Isis goddess, Egyptian

Sekhmet warrior, prediction

10 of Cups with Sun and Moon

Growing, healing, family soon

Libra Stellium

Sad dejected, alien

Phosphorescent, born again

Sunglight sitting, only friend

Moods change colors with the wind

Endless nameless, fantasy

Rabbit, top hat, call to me

Weighted down and then set free

Reoccur, repeatedly

Fire and wonder, hope in heart

Collapsing scaffold, aborted start

Forward, backward, light to dark

3rd gear, 2nd, neutral, park

Midsummer

Peonies, plumeria, gardenias, floral

Seaweed, crustacean, siren on coral

Sunrise and sunset, and campfire burning

Mountain top, forest floor, volcano churning

Hummingbird, bumblebee, dragonfly, feather

Asteroid, shooting star, nebulae, weather

Helios, Eros, Persephone, Rhea

Lono and Laka, Kapo and Haumea

Good morning, good fortune, good luck, and good lovin

See you on the astral plane until I hear something

7 Chakras

Purple thistle, fairy hatch

Lady bug and pumpkin patch

Lilith waiting, listening

Hovering and wish granting

Planting seedlings underneath

A promise I intend to keep

Across the stars, around this earth

Within the breeze and in the hearth

See with third eye, know through crown

Speak with throat to bring you round

Solar, sacral, root, and heart

Together, be it far apart

Major Arcana

In my dreams, you come to me

You say hello, then sing so sweet

Your are eyes are ethereal, sparkling

Your smile like sunshine, welcoming

Your heart sings too, it burns so bright

You shine and shimmer in your light

Emperor and his empress

Strength and Star and Temperance

I ask my angels to come through

And put me on the path toward you

Cocreate

Free in water and on land
Free on grass and in the sand
Express, explore, experiment
Create, combine, and compliment
So beautiful in skin and soul
So magical, please help me grow
...Say hello

Ode to Oleg

Working on self improvement

But it's boring as feck

Sitting on my porch

Wondering what in the heck

How do I meet men?

How would I meet women?

How can I meet anyone?

Alien or human

I opened up Tinder

And accidentally swiped right

On about 10K douches

Oh damn it, oh shite

Wearing 10 gallon hats

And listening to new country

Sending me hearts

And asking me to lunchy

My eyes roll to the heavens

I hit uninstall

I remember my first date

At the old Birdcage Mall

He was Andrew Olson

He wore a black coat

He was likely on that list

Of Columbine folk

Then I started thinking

Of all of the others

My internet boyfriends

And IRL lovers

Oleg was from Livejournal

He chose Jovana though

Now she and I are friends

And agree he is an ohole

There was Matt from Toronto

Andy from MN

The cokehead from goth club

Oh so many men

Yes I've traveled the globe

And mobbed across country

On buses and trains

On planes and via donkey

Perhaps they were lessons

For which I could be grateful

No need to be hostile

Or bitter or hateful

Now I've learned love does not

Come from dudes or from gambling

Or shopping or drinking

Or online webcamming

I'm still working it out

I'm still finding my way

But I'm starting to think

that I have things to convey

I'll start out by sharing

With my friends on Facebook

And then when I'm ready

I'll be writing my book