Synastry or Not

Push reset, recalibrate
Create from different colored space
See from separate point of view
Embark on journey without you
I simply do not have the time
To wait for masculine divine
Could get hit by a bus and die
Before he decides to come by
Fool card says take leap of faith
Does not say stay and stagnate
Fuck these 10 swords in my back
My rep as a huge sadsack
Manic depression, up and down
Back and forth and round and round
Motivated, fueled, inspired
Just as quickly hopeless, tired
I'll take my 2 cats to the ocean
Put these blueprints into motion
Leave behind me civil service
I have no choice now but to do this
Outside influence made me sick
Like learning my relationships
Were methods of control and punishment
Do not give me your opinions
Satan's serpents, helpers, minions
Turned your back on our synastry
None the less, I write my history

Leo Season

Today feels Armageddon-like
Ashes coat my car and bike
Smoke smell settles in my hair
Hazy orange colors the air
Flames jumping the freeways fast
Dead discolored yellow grass
Who set fire to planet Earth?
I thought I would get there first

Meh

I don't care who thinks I'm pretty

Smart, creative, funny, witty

Every night I fall asleep

Asking God to come get me

Look out my window wondering

Where I'm from, why did I leave

A host here for parasites 

Steal my essence, drain my life

Broken incandescent light

Doing just what others like

Sitting down and signing in

Report for duty, "no symptoms"

First half of Wizard of Oz

Missing meaning, purposes, cause

No insulation, exposed wiring

Forever pissed off, sad and crying 

Born this way and tired of trying 

Mostly Dead Musicians

Trent Reznor's head is like a hole
Layne Staley was down in one
Her name tattoos Jon Crosby's soul
Instant karma got John Lennon
Did Elliott really stab himself?
Did Kurt put that gun in his mouth?
I digress, this is not where I was going
I wonder, do you speculate
Compose, arrange, and dedicate
Lyrics and music to our memory
Is it true you never did love me?
This was all malefic shittery
You approached me just to put me in my place
Pay me back for previous wrongs
Lure me in with pretty songs
Place me in a box and throw away the key
How incredibly depressing
To think it was karmic lessons
Remember when you played All I Want?
I wanted that for us too
Was I mistaken thinking you
Were pure of heart, of mind, of soul
That we'd help each other grow
I guess so
Because now I walk the line alone

4th House Pisces

Why the hell did I eat that? 
It's just going to make me fat
Solar, sacral, or root trauma?
4th house Pisces substance drama?
I kicked my vodka addictions
Dabbled in the 12 traditions
Step aerobics every morning
Meditation shortly following
Set intentions at moon circles
Swear I'll conquer all these hurdles
Eschewed toxicity in men
Curbed compulsive spending, then
Replaced orange Fanta with water
Still with cheese and bread I falter
Pin bikinis in Ibiza
Yet next day I order pizza
I don't like this constant battle
Of with which I have been saddled
Asking who in Heaven listens 
Please assist with this affliction

Yo & Squeakers

I love you, Yo and Squeakers
You're my valentines with fuzz
You're the Junos to my Bleeker
Sherrif Woodys to my Buzz
Eat a metric ton of Meow Mix
Linger in the pan too much
And a little masochistic
When you're playing, but best buds
So absorbent when I'm crying
Always listen as I bitch
Aid with tarot cards and scrying
The familiars to my witch
We go back to ancient Egypt 
Keepers of the underworld
Mummies now in pharaoh's crypt
Today just pets and girl
You both protect me spiritually
Like a gargoyle on each side
Many thank yous for accompanying me
In every earthly life

Otherwordly Hello

Psychic dispatch operatress
Astral plane tiki bar waitress
Like Jupiter sent lightning down
Echo distracted Zeus with sound
An esoteric carrier pigeon
Supernatural slide in DM
Pegasus Pony Express
Loch Ness Monster UPS
Heart Shaped Box to radio
It's all I can do, Candy-o

Luciferian Summer

"That's cute that you're contributing,"
My neighbor to her boyfriend screams
The clink of an engagement ring hits porch
We're all on edge, it's so damn hot
One hundred plus all month of Aug
Our sun feels like an enemy sometimes
I stop the watering of lawn
It doesn't care, it's too far gone
Some days I don't think that I'm long behind
I go back in and take caffeine
So fucking sick of quarantine
A misnomer on purpose, we're not sick
These masks are Luciferian
The gov, Authoritarian
I just want in a grocery store for fruit
6 feet saps our humanity
Blocks energy and sanity
Come on, they banned singing in a church
They can't stop us from worshipping
From creating and flourishing
Nor can they remove love from our vocab
We're human beings
Soft squishy things
We're guided by the Godhead up above
So take our festivals and shows
Take restaurants and shops for clothes
Take our bodies, but you cannot have our souls

Heavily Edited

Heavily edited
Withdraw, retract, reverse
Infinitely debited
Conceal, redact, submerge
I chose to shut my chakras down
When the world went on offense
My smile became a perma-frown
In efforts at defense
I'm trying to let the light in now
I've been down so Goddamn long
I wish for you to show me how
I want to sing my song
I'm filling up a holey bucket
I'm tanning in the dark
I'm sleeping 'neath a wet blanket
I'm gunning it in park
I only speak now psychically
We conversate in dreams
Connecting telepathically
If our guides do deem
A muted Sagittarius
attempting to make fire
A bound and caged Aquarius
A Scorpio in mire
Please help me untie these knots
Remove these swords from me
Convert from bad to good these thoughts
Happy ever afterly

Remedial at Vegetables

Remedial at vegetables
Unfit to clean a house
Completely undomestical
I just don't know what to do with myself
There's only brush across the street
The occasional freight train
No one sees me dancing gothically
Through my dirty window pane
Trevor Something, something
He's my digital husband
We make vaporwave in his basement
Or so that's what I pretend
Doordashing Wienerschnitzel
The driver refers to me as dude
I wish I hadn't tipped his ass
That's hella fucking rude
This poem is not too thematic
I guess I apologize
Just feeling somewhat chromatic
Merely a day in the life
Now the sun descends again
What have I done this day?
Play make-believe and dwell within
My world's in retrograde

Cognitive Astrology

Sedated cow or psychosis
Insomnia v. hypnosis
Weep at work or sleep by 8:00
Medicate or stay awake
Who told me I shouldn't feel?
At what point did I cease to deal?
So some boyfriend went away
No one said that he would stay
Okay so I am OCD
Obsess, compulse, redo, repeat
The answer's not in Lexapro
Or so the last decade has shown
Perhaps I'm just from Mercury
This is all astrology
Stars and spirituality
Neptune skews reality
A misaligned chakra or 7
A torn aura open to Heaven
I'll patch it up with prayer and seeking
Searching, learning, hoping, dreaming
Paint new skies upon my ceiling
Write down words which lead to healing
Wake each morn and face the music
I have faith that I won't lose it