Electronic Waste

Ashamed in advance 
For what I might do
To gain your affection
For you to approve
You're chatting with me
And I'm falling in love
I feel a connection
You're sent from above
But that's not the case
It isn't the truth
You're here to exploit me
I'm here to be used
I see the blue ring
Of my webcam light up
I tell you hello
But you say hurry up
Say that you love me
Say that we'll meet
Say that you'll drive here
Or buy a plane seat 
Your wife's in the next room
Your kids are asleep
I feel like a whore
And you're just a creep
I'm electronic waste
Hard drive can't be found
Press escape to restart
But I just spin around
I'm only an android
About to expire
Like tears in the rain
Like flames in a fire
A 404 error
I'm seized by the Feds
I'm discolored and rusted
And laced with cobwebs
But one day you find me
And you dust me off
And you go to kiss me
And feel such a shock
Because I have a heartbeat
And I am not dead
A current runs through me
Despite what I said
Because I am a human
A real live girl
And since you can't see this
You must leave my world

North Node

Multifacet, glittering

Lacerations and lightning

Muddy water, lotus flower

Muted, waning, rebirth, power

North Node Cancer, turning point

Fire sign rising, crown, anoint

Sun, High Priestess, Empress card

Lioness and lionheart

Isis goddess, Egyptian

Sekhmet warrior, prediction

10 of Cups with Sun and Moon

Growing, healing, family soon

Libra Stellium

Sad dejected, alien

Phosphorescent, born again

Sunglight sitting, only friend

Moods change colors with the wind

Endless nameless, fantasy

Rabbit, top hat, call to me

Weighted down and then set free

Reoccur, repeatedly

Fire and wonder, hope in heart

Collapsing scaffold, aborted start

Forward, backward, light to dark

3rd gear, 2nd, neutral, park

Midsummer

Peonies, plumeria, gardenias, floral

Seaweed, crustacean, siren on coral

Sunrise and sunset, and campfire burning

Mountain top, forest floor, volcano churning

Hummingbird, bumblebee, dragonfly, feather

Asteroid, shooting star, nebulae, weather

Helios, Eros, Persephone, Rhea

Lono and Laka, Kapo and Haumea

Good morning, good fortune, good luck, and good lovin

See you on the astral plane until I hear something

7 Chakras

Purple thistle, fairy hatch

Lady bug and pumpkin patch

Lilith waiting, listening

Hovering and wish granting

Planting seedlings underneath

A promise I intend to keep

Across the stars, around this earth

Within the breeze and in the hearth

See with third eye, know through crown

Speak with throat to bring you round

Solar, sacral, root, and heart

Together, be it far apart

Major Arcana

In my dreams, you come to me

You say hello, then sing so sweet

Your are eyes are ethereal, sparkling

Your smile like sunshine, welcoming

Your heart sings too, it burns so bright

You shine and shimmer in your light

Emperor and his empress

Strength and Star and Temperance

I ask my angels to come through

And put me on the path toward you

Cocreate

Free in water and on land
Free on grass and in the sand
Express, explore, experiment
Create, combine, and compliment
So beautiful in skin and soul
So magical, please help me grow
...Say hello

Ode to Oleg

Working on self improvement

But it's boring as feck

Sitting on my porch

Wondering what in the heck

How do I meet men?

How would I meet women?

How can I meet anyone?

Alien or human

I opened up Tinder

And accidentally swiped right

On about 10K douches

Oh damn it, oh shite

Wearing 10 gallon hats

And listening to new country

Sending me hearts

And asking me to lunchy

My eyes roll to the heavens

I hit uninstall

I remember my first date

At the old Birdcage Mall

He was Andrew Olson

He wore a black coat

He was likely on that list

Of Columbine folk

Then I started thinking

Of all of the others

My internet boyfriends

And IRL lovers

Oleg was from Livejournal

He chose Jovana though

Now she and I are friends

And agree he is an ohole

There was Matt from Toronto

Andy from MN

The cokehead from goth club

Oh so many men

Yes I've traveled the globe

And mobbed across country

On buses and trains

On planes and via donkey

Perhaps they were lessons

For which I could be grateful

No need to be hostile

Or bitter or hateful

Now I've learned love does not

Come from dudes or from gambling

Or shopping or drinking

Or online webcamming

I'm still working it out

I'm still finding my way

But I'm starting to think

that I have things to convey

I'll start out by sharing

With my friends on Facebook

And then when I'm ready

I'll be writing my book